She Used to Be Mine: Journaling to Reconnect With Who You Were, and Who You Are Today

There was a point in my healing journey when I strove to find my new identity, one that I could resonate with, and that felt in total alignment with who I am today.

Thankfully, I found her, and through a lot of hard work, prayer, therapy, and self exploration, I found her.

Yes, this new version is different from who I used to be, but I’m proud to say that I feel more comfortable in my skin than I did a year, two, or even three years ago. I am more in alignment than I've ever been, and it's weird to say, but I can thank my experience for that. You can read more about the

struggle here.

So, in my attempt to find the perfect soundtrack of my life, I came across another song by Sara Bareilles, called She Used to Be Mine.

> “She’s imperfect, but she tries. She is good, but she lies. She is hard on herself… She is broken, and won’t ask for help.”

— Sara Bareilles, “She Used to Be Mine”

There’s something haunting and beautiful about those lyrics. If you’ve ever lived through a life-altering event, like a stroke, chronic illness, grief, or even the slow erosion of a dream, you might feel this song in your bones.

“She Used to Be Mine” isn't just a ballad. It’s a mirror. A soft reckoning with the woman you were, and the one who’s here now, maybe bruised, maybe changed, but still you.

For many of us, especially those healing from trauma or illness, there comes a moment when we no longer recognize ourselves. We look in the mirror and wonder:

Where did she go? Will I ever feel like her again?

This reflection can be painful. But it can also be powerful, especially when we give ourselves the space to process, grieve, and rebuild through journaling.

Journaling Journey Back to You

Inspired by the emotional depth of “She Used to Be Mine,” I created a 4-part journaling series to help you reconnect with your inner self, not just who you were, but who you’re becoming.

Here’s how it unfolds:

1. Meet Your Past Self

Begin by remembering her, the version of you that existed before life changed.

Before the stroke. Before the heartbreak. Before the burnout.

Who was she? What did she love, believe in, dream of? What made her feel free?

This isn’t about living in the past. It’s about honoring the woman who helped shape who you are now.

2. Witness the Shift

Next, step into the moment (or season) when everything changed.

Was it sudden, or did it happen slowly? Instead of rehasing the events, focus on the feelings, the emotions of what you felt at the time. What did you lose? What had to be left behind?

This part may bring up sadness or anger, and that’s okay.

Journaling helps you hold space for those emotions instead of carrying them silently.

3. Honour the Present You

Now, meet yourself where you are.

She may be tired. She may be softer, stronger, or more guarded.

But she is still here — showing up in the world, choosing to heal.

Ask yourself:

What strength have I gained through this experience?

What am I proud of even if no one sees it but me?

4. Write Her a Letter

The final step is a letter-writing exercise from your current self to the woman you used to be. Or vice versa.

Let it hold love.

Let it hold grief.

Let it hold truth.

You might begin with:

“Dear me…”

“I remember you, and I still carry you.”

“You did your best, and that was enough.”

And close it with:

> “She’s not the same, but she’s still mine.”

Healing is Not Linear, But It Is Yours

Reconnecting with yourself through journaling doesn’t mean going backward.

It means reclaiming the full picture, the past, present, and future with compassion.

You are not the same. And that’s okay.

You’ve endured, evolved, and expanded in ways your past self could never have imagined. And she would be proud of you.

If this resonates, I invite you to try this 4-part series inside your own journal, or sign up for my free guided version through email.

Let’s honour her. Let’s honour you.

With heart,

Bree xo

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Click here to sign up for the free “She Used to Be Mine” email series.

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